Monday, September 26, 2011

Disturbed

I have to write. Mind is so disturbed that i have no idea how to present it. to write about it...........

If my life can be viewed as a stage i have entered it as a normal actor in various drama, turned into hero in various scenes and then pushed out of the whole drama as a villain. I have no idea how this transformation occurred. And not only once but in all phases of life i covered be it friends, family, college or office i have closed that episode or pushed out of various circle as a cheater or villain. I never wanted to be a hero nor a villain and knowingly i never did anything to hurt or cheat others... but i have to say in all circumstances i have tried to save my*** or feet.

When u save yourself out of difficult situations not hurting others u become a villain?
Or i imagine that while saving myself no one else is hurt? Am i selfish not considering others? In my view in any emergency save yourself first so that you can help others. What i consider help is not considered as help enough by the recipient.

I never expected anyone to acknowledge my help or to be thankful. Bu i never ever thought i will be labeled as a snatcher of other peoples right, a person who take advantage of a situation , make gain from it or in my language catch fish from muddy water.

In short i am villain among my family, friends and colleagues.

I am trying my best to be a normal person in my future life. someone please tell me how??


"by following your heart"

2 comments:

tys said...

by following your heart.

Pay attention to your own feeling within. If you are at peace with your decisions and actions, then you need to let it go. Burdened emotions are others needs which you are made to carry. Its not selfish to disregard another's selfishness.

the trick is in being honest to yourself. you will be surprised how we mistake justifying to forgiving when it comes to ourselves.

advice is so cheap, isnt it?

rm said...

@ tys : sometimes we yearn for cheap things. :-).

(life!!! u never wanted anything from it. not even recognition. u think u are safe with living a life of no expectation. reality strikes ! paint u negative and for a moment u gasp then u accept that too, believing inside still pure ... how long...i wonder how long..) ( on another thought if i think impassionately that twist will make life more spicy hihi)

thanks.