Me wondering

Some times when I see a picture so beautiful I keep staring at it for a long time then I have to walk away. I walk away feeling a pain a helplessness as to leave such a beauty. The moments i stare i am at a loss to comprehend it. I never can have enough of it. the hard fact of life is you have to move on . Beautiful landscapes also has such an effect on me. And rare times i meet people whom i can never make part of my life. i get glimpses of their thoughts their uniqueness.. i gasp and wonder..but i realise we cannot pause..life has to move on. i realise one should be thankful for such a meeting for getting a glimpse maybe be treasure it in deep memory and move on.

Does moving on means forgetting ? denying the existence of what we have seen? Once you experience , it moves on with you. you cannot shed it. simple truth.

I wish i could go on writing be more clear but i have learned words cannot be forced..then it becomes bookish.. and even if i wish to i am not gifted much..
random thoughts, absurd conclusions...sums me up.

I hate it when some on insit on gendering the thoughts. But the truth might be with gender the thoughts might differ. I do not know. But there are meeting points right?
May be its the reactions that differ?

meeting of mind / thoughts/ interpreations/ views / needs physical presence????

hmmmm ...then what foolishness of me.. to think meeting of mind!!! maybe the other mind dosent agree??? how can i claim to be so high. then maybe meekly i may say sometimes i am able to understand you and feel happy that i can under stand..i can enjoy a beautiful picture, i recognize a thing of worth when i see one.. i might not be one myself but i am happy ,to be gifted with the sense of appreciation .

And yes i feel........

Accident

Its been long since I had an anticipating moment without knowing what will happen next.By now I have a fair picture of all the consequences of my action. Nothing much excites me. Nor does it make me afraid. As one may say I have taken life in its stride.I enjoy and walk along without being excited. When younger everything was exciting. going out ..a evening with friends..a chappal lost...an exam result everything had a huge impact. I enjoy the current phase. Enjoying without being excited. Sometimes I do miss the thrill. Then I pleasantly remind myself I have grown up , matured and feel contend in the thought.

At certain age people excited us so much. especially the opposite sex. their looks, actions, talks we tried to find a meaning for it. then another phase of chasing dreams. then the little ones took over..life..simply thinking ... life...it goes in a predicted way but not the way we predict.

Two days back , our car was hit by another car from back. our car lost control and for few minutes it was exciting. not knowing whats to happen next. will the car stop.will it catch fire. will it turn upside down. how are we going to get hurt. will we survive .will it be painful. those moments brought a prayer on my lips. surprisingly i didn't pray for safety. i just prayed ..for a strength. those moments nothing crossed my mind apart from what will happen next.

From all the chaos that followed after and in between I can separate those few minutes of which I was prepared to face death. I should say I was not afraid. I am surprised that I was not afraid......

Maybe we are most afraid of our near and dear ones life and facing the life without them. (only my frnds were with me in the car no family members)

i do not know...just wondering and recording my first accident.