thus i live..

oh...how does it feel when u are accused of curiosity...and time pass when u enquire of a friend or a near one. D o you think i love to hear u lament..that i advise u coz i have no other work?? Is that how u treat others when they share their sorrows to you. Or u think i am safe and happy in my world that i cant feel of your pain?? Do you always want me to speak your side..never pointing out where u slipped..what faults happened from u? do u expect a cheerleader from me. I am trying to help you..
Even in the midst of my peace and happiness i am troubled, i am pained..thinking of u. i silently pray to god to give you the happiness i enjoy.

hmmmmmmm.......

what more shall i add.

Again its a pleasant time.Seeing the birds chirping in the morning , the flowers smiling, the greenly leaves waving as i walk to my office. Being thankful that i got an opportunity to work amidst this beauty...in this dessert. I am greeted with good morning by the depressed looking cleaner boy. i wish he had some life in his eyes. a dream in his heart. he looks lost..withdrawn..as if nothing more to hope.
and i think..after all he has a job..and a place to go back for vacation..cant he be bit more happy. Any way you reached here ..now enjoy the time..Its easy to say. i know this new batch of cleaner boys have only joined. Fresh from their country land..missing their loved ones..from their eyes i am sure this is not the job they were promised..this is not the salary they were expecting...

i walk toward my computer trying not to dwell too much. What could Buddha do.. when he found the unhappiness surrounding him..preach and teach them to be satisfied with what they have... what else can one do. But the essence of life or the spirit of it in the present generation is fight and win ur worth...

subdued ..reminding myself ..that i am helpless i type my pass word and log into the world. I am no longer in dessert. From my childhood friend to my blog frnd whom i have never met..i start my life..contend..

The spirit and enthusiasm of the tea boy is catching. He gives a freshness to the office . An office ..where everyone is grumbling in spite of their fat salaries..All these years i couldn't find a single one happy for his present position. A job in this company is a dream job for an outsider..still those who got inside never happy..

May be they are..but the little bit of disappointment they have..they must be sharing with me.

Chatting with my collage friends i too join the crowd of depressed realising i have not reached anywhere near my destination..Call from my family brings me back to peace and happiness i enjoy..

I walk out to enjoy the next section of my life where i am the most important person in the world.

thus i live....some times happy some times sad..

Spring

This time winter was short and not extreme.. after waiting... thinking every other day will be minus or below minus..we had to come to terms with the spring or early summer..Before, Spring just means something like jump..It never had any meaning for me as a season..Now i realise how beautiful a season it is. No extremes.. bit of everything..bit cold, bit sunny, bit dusty and sprinkling of rain.
I wish my life was too a spring.. a bit of everything..so that i can appreciate each of it.

then of the days gone by.. i had a guest..a whole family. its first time i am entertaining a family for a week. in simple terms let me say i like being a host. its better than being a guest.

As a guest i am always doubtful whether i am taking up the time and resources of another. Its better a host.Its in my power to make them feel comfortable.

I feel bit grown up playing a host. ( i am wondering..whether its the grown up feeling that makes my post look so dry??)

hmmmmm

it was foggy today.. i love that..a sense of adventure.not knowing whats beyond...then a little more drive and it was so sunny!

life back to normal..but an emptiness haunting...as if we are not enough...the space of the guest vacant..

its better to leave than to be left behind.