CHRISTMAS

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And a HAPPY NEW YEAR.

eye sight is limited

first writing was to let off..today i write so that i may keep. i am back frm vacation.a trip to dubai.and frm there to muscat. it was really refreshing. these are the times i feel poor..inadequate to expres what i feel.i enjoy dubai..like any other place i visit. then i enjoy everything. dubai is a place of growth ..a show case of human excellence..a current enigma which we can witness. truthfully i felt at home there.apart frm the striking buildings and the sights of crane and the construction of metros..i was at ease. the knowlegde that most of my frnds are now settled there increased my happiness. met few of my frnds after a loong gap. felt happy that they too still have the same warmth and love.distance and time lost its value when we shared our old times.
some smiles i collected way back has now become hugs with a promise to be shoulders to lean on. i am happy.

then i saw tare zammen per..i waited this long any way the movie was good. and i cried ..not for all those kids or parents..i cried for myself..

then i went to muscat. after reading tys on ice i wanted to visit musandam..remembering his funny stories and the way he counted seven when there was eight i made sure visa process went ok..:-)

really i was awed by muscat. mountains everywhere. i have never seen such a scene..not even in photos.it was always secenes of greenary or beauty of other kinds..but to be surrounded by mountains was something new to me.. we travelled far ..it was erree.. i couldnt imagine getting lost there.. i understood why people go to mountain tops or caves to think..how they might have become prophets or saints..

there was such a lot to write abt my feeling when i saw those montains..huge...full of them..diffrent shapes.. then patterns..some times identical..sometimes diffrent..
i wanted to get down and walk alone..i wanted to get lost.i wanted to wander...i felt afraid...how it would be to spend a night there alone..i know many would have done that.. may be its not a big deal..but for me.. oh.. i really wish i would spend one day there..alone..i will be frightened to death.. but i am sure i will survive..
i will be awake with fear.. i will feel and sense even the slightest sound and movement..

anyways safe in the car eating and drinking i am back home..

when i saw those mountains..i felt helpless..as if nothing can be done..but all those roads..all those civilisations..any thing is possible right..human beings..i felt proud to belong..

there was no roads over the mountains ( i didnt notice) it was around the mountains.

people generaly dont live on the top of mountains..they live on its sides ..down..

no matter how much u climb up..u have to come down. if u stay up..u get cut off..coz the generality is down..still like a mountain goat the erge of climbing is always there..its exciting..but coming down u loose grip.. :-) simple things..with lots of philosophy

even if u cant see beyond..there is a world beyond it..same like yours..blocked by the same mountain ..walk thru its side u will meet.

sea too looks like a pond when trapped between mountains..

world is beautiful and human beings .....

god u are simply great ok.

u know the mountains made me feel helpless..small .the raods made me feel superior and the car made me proud then stories of 'gonu' made me think of god.

terrorist attack

simply one has to write..its only way to react i know now..to let out the feeling.
the terrorist attack is the current topic.

jumbled up thoughts mixed with numbeness, helplessness, shame . but fear?? i doubt..coz its no use.

a lost feeling. searching for a hand to guide. looking out for a leader to lead.

a question..? what to do? whats my part?
answer : mould future generation??

it has happened before..it will happen again..we are sure..but changes has happened..single men brought great changes..there is no more slavery..no more sati..india is free.. hitler was killed..so its possible.but someone shuld lead.

then why shuld it be another? why cant I?..NO we are just followers..There are only a few I capable of making us.. is it???

novelty of the operation bother us? we are used to bombings right? but not attacks? we are used to going to market or garden and never coming back right. we are used to sleeping in train and not getting up.

its coz of Taj? Oberon? Yes Taj do matter..like a human being it cannot be reproduced so quickly..

dont take me bad..i am in shock..confused..not sure of anything..


we die in mass in earth quake..in tsunami..heavy rain fall, poverty, sickness..without any reason..on road..on air
so here also death right?? its the same??

no.we die its for sure. but its our right to postpone it. no onehas the rght to force it on us. we are given a chance to live.we want to live it..

so what should i do? have a tea and write? cry ? vent my anger with words? pray??
protect myself with arms?? but that failed in other countries right?? it only leads to more anarchy??

i think i shuld get involved. i shuld get out of living MY life. i shuld know my neighbours. i shuld know WHY the strangers?? i shuldnt say politics..oo not for me..
i shuould make the noise. i shuld train my next generation . a teacher shuld do bit more than earning her salary. a mother shuld stop worrying abt earning more and spending it.. a mother shuld have time for children their thoughts and views. a father not a mere couch potato.. life is not all abt earning and spending.. and revewing..live it fully.

work is not just get our salary..there is more to it.understand it and do ur little part. dont be ashamed to standout coz of ur goodness or uniqueness. slowly they will follow u.BE the one to lead..in a small way. Dont become the generality.Have the courage to be laughed at.dont merely join the laughing monkey.

train ur children to lead..its only them we can mould in this big world apart frm us.
we indians are obsessed with serving..in various ways. and we give the role of leading to the fools ,liars and terrorist. we are not simply bothered..we say we dont have a choice..is it not our duty to provide a choice..we want to be safe in our house..and want others to make it safe for us..they too want the same..

the only people who nowadays act are the terrorist. their life is not worth living ..they kill and get killed simply for a belief..

and we?? we hide????? frm our neighbour ?frm the world? from ourselves.

is it?? i dont know..

like u i too am lost..but even if its a slow battle i hereby will go by the rules..question the simple things i find out of way..bend little strech a arm to give. give my life to save.(will i??)


here in this country i live i see the security measures. everything is checked. everyone is numbered. there is a accountability.India is a large country agreed. but each state is small then the district, the city the village..its been broken down right..frm the small units be alert..there is little the large picture can do.its the small ones that count. come down to deep root and correct.. dont cut the branches..its not enough.take care of the roots. its not easy..but thats where the solution lies.

mabe thats what gandhiji meant long back.

its one our frnds, relatives,our children whose ideas went wrong ,who got greedy who helped the system go wrong..maybe we did wrong in not giving them proper attention..
yes..in a way each one of us is to blamed..dont focus on shifting it.

is it pointless raving..no.its not..being aware of something wrong,identifying it and thinking to correct it..and CORRECTING IT ..is the way. terrorism disnt come all of a sudden. it was everywhere for long time..just it striked near this time. u cannot eradicate it with a few words or action. it takes long time and action..and every single one of us count in the process...in our small ways..

get up . be alert..dont brood..its time for acting..for being aware..for contributing..

half of my life i spend enjoying and watching..let the rest be dedicated to action.


## create leaders .